Not a Chance
  INT. BAR - NIGHT

  CHRIS sits at a distant table in the dimly lit bar while
  conversing with the typical OPTIMISTIC MALE.

                      CHRIS
            Nope. I don't believe that is
            possible.

                      MALE
            Why not? Your just being
            pessimistic.

                      CHRIS
            Well, yes and no. But for good
            reason.

                      MALE
            Being?

                      CHRIS
            While I initially believe that if
            you were to sleep with x number of
            females as x tends towards
            infinity.

                      MALE
            Yes, infinity.

                      CHRIS
            Ahem. And they were all in fact not
            carriers of any sexually
            transmitted diseases.

                      MALE
            Yes.

                      CHRIS
            Then one could assume that you
            would not be a recipient of any
            um.. you know. Bad luck.

                      MALE
            You see! You're just hopelessly
            pessimistic. You're...

                      CHRIS
            Wait! My friend you haven't yet
            heard my argument against this
            preposterous thing.

                      MALE
                 (sips drink)
            Go on.

                      CHRIS
            Your logic rests on the assertion
            that these partners are all in fact
            erm.. clean as you say.

                      MALE
            yeah.

                      CHRIS
            Well, first you can never be sure
            everyone's not lying to some
            degree. There's always a chance
            that a female or a male in the set
            of partners is not in the set of
            acceptable subjects.

                      MALE
            Well, yeah but you could make a
            good guess.

                      CHRIS
            Guessing is not a proof my friend.
            Guessing is meds for life or a new
            mouth to feed.

                      MALE
            I don't think that's...

                      CHRIS
            Going to stop you?

                      MALE
            ...

                      CHRIS
            Well consider this then... Suppose
            no one is lying and despite common
            sense everyone is completely 100
            percent honest about their
            condition.

                      MALE
            Yeah.

  At this point others around are beginning to listen in.

                      CHRIS
            To be absolutely sure you make sure
            to over see the administration of
            various tests in order to be sure
            they are negative.

                      MALE
            That's what I mean..

                      CHRIS
            BUT, no test or diagnostic is 100
            percent accurate. Which means there
            is a chance of a false negative. As
            in someone could believe they are
            not infected when in fact they are.

                      MALE
            ..well..

                      CHRIS
            Since, there is still a chance that
            the set of partners are carriers...

                      MALE
            Now wait this is pretty unlikely
            that after...

  Chris begins to stand.

                      CHRIS
                 (Cough!)
            Ahem. You sir specified that as so
            called 'clean' partners tend
            towards infinity you would not
            catch anything. Well sir I believe
            that is incorrect. You said nothing
            of the variable probability for
            different quantities of partners!

  Silence for a moment then the room starts in an UP ROAR.

                      MALE
            What. Wha if they were are all
            virgins?

                      CHRIS
            And how would you know that SIR!

                      MALE
            Observation from BIRTH!

                      CHRIS
            ... I fail to see that as a likely
            scenario given your present
            location and status. At which point
            I'd claim my argument still holds.
            Good day sir.

  Storms out.

  (* this is for you KJ ;)

 
# Take output from celtic text script output
# and make it website pasteable.
# Chris Stones Oct 3, 2008
 
print "This program must be run in the same directory as the file"
fn = raw_input("Enter the script name (NO SUFFIX): ")
 
rawdoc = open(fn+".txt",'r')
doc = ["<pre>"]
for line in rawdoc:
	# Don't indent so  much
        line = line.replace("      ","",1)
	doc.append(line)
 
doc.append("</pre>") # format for web page
 
output = open(fn+"_WEB.txt",'w')
 
out_str = ""
for line in doc:
	out_str = out_str + line
 
	# No double spaceing
out_str = out_str.replace("\n\n","\n") 
 
output.write(out_str)
 
rawdoc.close()
output.close()