Amiss
"There are no finish lines
but the ones we make for ourselves."
Nope. I'm still having trouble jump starting my own endeavors.
I can't seem to think straight yet. And the noise from above
returns with such vigor that I hate to even stay in the whole
time and work.
What is wrong right now?
I speculated that it could be number of things.
I thought perhaps the difference between now and all
those breaks is that they had a certain urgency about them.
I had to pull everything off and I had a limited time.
Now, I don't seem to see the time limit so I'm taking my
time.
But it's just not right. It just doesn't feel right or the same.
And all I can think is that I need something.
Something to jump start me into everything again.
It's as though I'm recalling a dream. But I can't quite
bring back the feel I want so I don't feel like I'm there.
And if I don't feel like I'm there I can't get from there to
where I dream of being.
It's the feeling of amiss that I haven't been able to shake.
I have noted such a feel happens upon me during other times of
lower activity. It's just a strange phenomenon that is
pegging me right now. It reminds me of the cabin fever I was told
I had that Summer of Hell a while back.
NES Specs
I keep returning to how those things in my childhood worked.
It's strange jog through memory lane.. only I never had these
sorts of memories of the place.
And I can't believe it fits on so few pages.
You can drive yourself crazy thinking about projects you “should” be getting done but your greatest personal accomplishments will probably be a project you haven’t conceived of yet. Don’t let guilt about what you’re not accomplishing keep you from enjoying what you are.
You’ve talked a lot about the freedom your job gives you because you’re not traveling to an office for an eight hour shift. I think that “freedom” has you focussing on what you think you should do with it. You MIGHT benefit from a little more structure. Your earlier talk of a reward for accomplishing something is good or maybe set official breaks.
Try this: work an eight hour day (if you’re getting paid for it). It doesn’t have to be eight hours in a row but set a schedule. You may have to get up and go to bed earlier to make it work or the opposite. Second, you have a social life… also called “a life.” This has to be worked around your work day. Enjoy it! Don’t worry about other projects during that.
Suddenly you have less time for everything else. This isn’t necessarily a bad thing. It makes you prioritize. Pick one thing, say BNTV, and work on getting it done. The fact that you have so many ideas and personal projects can some you from igniting. Pick one to begin with and accomplish it.
Other stuff, studying Quantum Mech, reading, daydreaming will naturally find their niches.
See? Unasked for advice doesn’t stop when you graduate. Take it as a suggestion. Think about it, consider how it would work. You may end up saying, “This won’t work for me….. Hmmm, but it gives me an idea of what will.”
You need a new apartment with a garage.
Did you get the photo of the beach party?
I agree with your dad. You shouldn’t let hanging out at our place get in the way with your work.