August 31, 2007 Friday Worry

Don't worry right? Well, that's hard sometimes
and as the pain in my tooth slowly fades. I'm glad
but not quite relieved to be done with todays round of
fillings. More to come, I'm just glad the cleaning and the
dental work can get doen 'before' the insurance runs out.

And later.... I hear them talk about their experiences...
and I feel left out. Way left out and I think... I don't like
this and I don't want to be around when this is happening.
I have none and I walked home thinking about it. And then as I often
do.. I turned to more productive less vacous matters.

Such as...

How to teach recent computer programming student the open source
ropes. I want to take what someone begins to learn in a class and
get them ready to be involded with various open source projects.
I feel it's an important next step, for them and for the open source
community.

But if today is worry. Than I have much of it. I worry about
the 'what if's the what if I can't stand the aloneness like was
once able to? And I was. I have often walked between
extremes from social to solitary. And I've been back and forth
amoung these choices.... and from what I've expereinced... I can see
reasons to give it up...

However, I can see reasons to join the group.

Which will ultimatly win with me?


I can not know.


But you bet, I'll be playing a melancholy melody while I figure it out.